May 18, 2025

YOU ASKED FOR IT: KEYS TO A HAPPY, HEALTHY MARRIAGE

May 18, 2025

 Pastor Charles Billingsley

What is your marriage like? Are there days when you wonder why you married your spouse? It was an intentional decision (in most cases), made and carried out over a few months—or longer. Sure, there are times this doesn’t hold true, but for the most part, the bride and groom have taken a time to decide this is what they want in life. When does it start to fall apart? When your marriage is shoved down under your busy schedule, and other priorities fall into first place. A good marriage has several key elements which Pastor Charles will share today. This sermon has been in response to the large number of members who want to hear how to have a healthy and happy marriage. Listen intently, then put the three keys into practice—and be intentional that you want your union with your spouse to be all that God would have it be.

Focal Passages: Hebrews 13:4; Malachi 2:13-15; Romans 12:9-10; Genesis 2:24; Matthew 6:33; Ephesians 4:1-3, 26b; Ecclesiastes 9:9; John 15:4-5.

Honor your marriage:

  • Read Heb. 13:4. When Adam was in the Garden of Eden, what was an early responsibility he had? Did he find companionship with the animals? Why was the relationship with the animals not enough to satisfy Adam—why not get a dog? (Gen. 2:20). Did the animals all have a ‘partner’? (Gen. 1:24). Why did God let Adam have the realization that no relationship with the animals was adequate for him before creating Eve? (Gen. 2:21-22). When God brought Eve to Adam, how did he react? (Gen. 2:23).
  • Was this union between Adam and Eve blessed by God? (Gen. 2:24). Read Matt. 19:6. Jesus repeated Gen. 2:24, then added this. Why? Can you see today’s church asking Matt. 19:7? Read Mal. 2:16 and Prov. 6:16-19. If God hates these seven things, we try to not commit these abominable sins; is divorce hated any less? How hard do we fight for our marriage?
  • What kind of covenant is established in a marriage relationship? According to Heb. 13:4, how seriously are we to consider this covenant? In what ways can we honor our marriage?
  • Read Rom. 12:9. How do we honor God when we honor our spouse?

Prioritize your marriage:

  • Let’s assume everyone’s marriage needs a new start: how can we take steps to restart where we are and make it happy and healthy? Would you still have married your spouse if you could see today? Why is it so important to take the ‘Love Languages’ seriously?
  • When you prioritize your marriage, discuss: How do you prioritize your time together?

What kind of time are we talking about—watching a movie? How can you learn to listen?

  • How do you prioritize your intimacy? If there are problems, sat down and discuss this!
  • How do you prioritize your communication? How can you learn to let go of the need to be right? Can you give up the trap of getting your way? How can you release the need to come out on top? Is there more satisfaction in winning an argument than not arguing?
  • Read Matt. 6:23. How do you prioritize your spiritual growth? Where should that be on your list?
  • Read Eph. 4:1-3. What did God mean, ‘bear with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace’? What is the special clue here as to how to keep your marriage happy and healthy?

Enjoy your marriage:

  • Read Eccl. 9:9. (If you are a parent of small children, you will have a harder time seeking to enjoy your marriage, but the rewards will be great). What are some things you would enjoy doing while taking a short, hour or so, break from the kids to do something with your spouse?
  • Have the two of you sat down to come up with some plans for enjoyment? How did that work? What were your suggestions?
  • Which sounds more fun—to walk a mountain trail for an hour in the sun, or go to a marriage conference? Why might the second have tips for the health of your marriage?

CLOSE:

Prioritizing your marriage in a place of importance, right under God, is to treat it as Christ loves the church. He gave Himself for it, and loves it as a groom loves the bride. It is a covenant relationship that He established, creating the woman to be exactly as He knew the husband would desire. Do either of you now feel He made a mistake? Don’t even go there. Be, as Charles said, dedicated to seeing that you love each other so much that the “D” word will never enter a conversation. See that the vow you took on your wedding day will always supersede any argument that has—or will—come between you.

Most of all, remember that it is the atmosphere you provide in your home that will be what the children remember as they get older and desire their own place. They will have children, and will want them to experience the quiet and safety they felt when they were young. There is definitely no greater gift that a parent can give a child than unreserved love for the other parent.

If you were raised in a home that was dysfunctional (for, let’s face it, many of us were), try to rise above what you saw, the long-term effects it had on you, and start a new chapter in the family. Surely if you were able to go back to either your grandparents or great-grandparents—or even their grandparents—you would find Christians who loved the Lord and loved each other with a Biblical love. Strive for that. With God, all things are possible.

By Sandy Day

May 18, 2025

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