October 7, 2018

Masquerade : Building Real Relationships
October 7, 2018
Jonathan Falwell

 

Open:

Last week we opened as we discussed those people we know who seem to wear a mask—never really showing their true self. But what about you? Will anyone share an area of life where you tend to cover up your feelings, in order to present a false front?

Today, as we continue our series on Masquerades, we want to look at the relationships we have that may be unhealthy and a hindrance to our spiritual well-being. As God’s Word sets forth clear definitions of healthy relationships, we want to define what a toxic relationship is, and remove any mask we might wear, thereby being vulnerable to expressing our truest heart. Anything less does not come from God.

Focal Passage: Colossians 3:12-17.

 

 

Discuss:

How we wear masks in our relationships that create toxic and unhealthy futures

A.   False presentation and unrealistic expectations

  • What did we establish last week are the dangers in wearing a mask?
  • Why does our perception of others usually assume their life is perfect? Is this normally a correct assumption? Why not?

B.   Self-serving motives

  • What do we hope to achieve by wearing a mask? Do most see through it?
  • Read 1 Thess. 2:1-7, in the NIV. What was Paul saying?

C.    Secretly holding on to past hurts instead of forgiveness

  • How is it possible to put on a pleasant face when withholding forgiveness toward someone? Can anyone willingly share such a situation?
  • If past hurts continue to affect us, does that person still control you?

D.   Treating your relationship in a defensive manner

  • Think of people—perhaps in close relationships—whom you always assume have an ulterior motive when dealing with you. How do you react with them?
  • How can a defensive manner be toxic?

E.   Hiding what’s truly going on

  • When you think of putting on a mask—that is, acting in a manner not in line with truth—what is the root cause of such actions? Talk this over.
  • If something isn’t true, where does it originate?

 

Building Real Relationships

A.   Approach every relationship with holiness

  • Read Col. 3:12a. What did God do for us according to this verse?
  • Read 1 Cor. 6:19-20. How are we able to make every choice from the perspective of truth? (Phil. 4:13).

B.   Approach every relationship with the right motives

  • Read verse 12c. What are the five definitions of a healthy personality?
  • Think of your relationships: how would they be transformed if you handled those with whom you come into contact, with these qualities?

C.   Approach every relationship putting others first

  • Read verse 13. What is a definition of forgiveness? Does that mean the person did not intend you hurt? Who is it now hurting?
  • Look at C in the first section: as long as you are not forgiving someone for a past hurt, how do they continue to control you? Read Eph. 6:12.

D.   Approach every relationship as an opportunity

  • Read vv. 14-16. What are several “do’s” in these verses? What will others think if you discipline yourself to choose these qualities?
  • Every choice you make is for your good, or the good of another person. How can this be?

E.   Approach every relationship with Christ at the center

  • Read verse 17. As you consider unhealthy or healthy relationships, is it possible for you to give thanks to Christ if you choose to wear a mask? How? How does that reflect on the body of Christ to unbelievers?
  • Can you glorify God wearing a mask?

 

 

 

Close:

This has been a long study, but one that is critical as we make choices each day to be kind and loving or to put on a mask to hide our inadequacies.  Wearing a mask will tear down everything God is trying to do in your life. Can you leave your house this week, determining to make the day brighter for everyone you meet? How long does it take to smile? To toss out a “Good morning!”? To tender a compliment to an older person (who gets few)? To share a sentence that of inspiration? We are told to treat others as we want them to treat us. Can you do that? Re-read 1 Cor. 13 at some point this week, realizing the masks we wear will not achieve the love that Christ desires. Let us all make new commitments to love as we have been loved by God. The last verse in 1 Cor. 13 emphasizes the Key Verse for this week: “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Key Verse: Col. 3:14: But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.

 

 

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